The Scary Room
by Merickson
Summary: Is spooky short about The Room! Is written in script format because that's the format everyone loves, yah?


THE SCARY ROOM

INT. JOHNNY'S LIVING ROOM - DAY

Lisa sits stiffly on the sofa, staring blankly ahead. The  
>door opens, and Johnny strides in with a large painting under<br>his arm.

JOHNNY  
>Happy Christmas, sweethearts!<p>

Lisa immediately shoots to a stand, grabbing a wine glass off  
>the coffee table in one fluid motion as her face lights up<br>with a wide smile.

LISA  
>Hi, babe! What you got there?<p>

JOHNNY  
>Is a present for yooo-uuu! I went<br>to art auction for dead artist and  
>got this painting.<p>

He holds up the painting. It is a portrait of a pale young  
>man with a glassy-eyed glare.<p>

JOHNNY  
>Is all-American self-portrait of<br>artist. He suicided hisself. I  
>paid for it with money.<p>

LISA  
>Gosh, that's creepy.<p>

JOHNNY  
>Okay I put it on mantel.<p>

He heads toward the fireplace, passing by Mark, who has  
>apparently been standing just out of view.<p>

JOHNNY  
>Oh hi, Mark!<p>

MARK  
>Hi, Johnny!<p>

JOHNNY  
>Happy Christmas, Mark!<p>

MARK  
>You too, Johnny!<p>

Mark walks up to Lisa as Johnny completes his journey to the  
>fireplace.<p>

MARK  
>I didn't know it was Christmas.<p>

LISA  
>It's not. I just told him that to<br>make life interesting.

Johnny stands on a chair and knocks pictures of spoons off  
>the mantel.<p>

JOHNNY  
>I make room!<p>

LISA  
>Mark, he can't hear us all the way<br>over there. Let's have sex.

MARK  
>What do you mean by that?<p>

Johnny haphazardly sets the painting on the mantel and then  
>steps off the chair.<p>

JOHNNY  
>There, let's see you try to be<br>creepies up there, Mr. Painting.

He turns to Lisa and Mark.

JOHNNY  
>Happy Christmerry holiday,<br>everyone!

The chair flies up by itself and slams into Johnny, knocking  
>him to the floor.<p>

JOHNNY  
>Argh! What are these doings?!<p>

LISA  
>Johnny!<p>

Lisa and Mark run to Johnny and help him up.

MARK  
>You okay, Johnny?<p>

JOHNNY  
>Yeah I okay but chair is possessed!<p>

MARK  
>That was weird.<p>

LISA  
>What would make a chair do that?<p>

JOHNNY  
>Is demon chair!<p>

A chandelier crashes down onto the coffee table.

MARK  
>Damn!<p>

JOHNNY  
>Is demon ceiling ornament!<p>

LISA  
>What the hell is going on?<p>

A football shoots through the air and breaks a window.

JOHNNY  
>Even football is demons!<p>

LISA  
>What should we do?<p>

MARK  
>I don't know.<p>

Mark grabs Lisa and starts making out with her.

JOHNNY  
>Lisa!<p>

Mark pushes himself off Lisa.

MARK  
>Why'd you make me do that?!<p>

LISA  
>You idiot! Johnny wasn't turned<br>around at all!

JOHNNY  
>What did you do to him?!<p>

LISA  
>Okay, fine! I admit it! I don't<br>love you, Johnny!

JOHNNY  
>Why are you say such things? You<br>are evils!

LISA  
>Pathetic men! I've only ever used<br>you all for my own ends!  
>Mwahahaha!<p>

MARK  
>She manipulated me with her<br>treacherous manipulation!

Johnny puts his arm around Mark.

JOHNNY  
>I'm sorry, Mark. I not know Lisa<br>was evils.

LISA  
>Now I shall seduce all your friends<br>and take all their money!

Lisa makes a run for the door.

JOHNNY  
>Oh noes!<p>

MARK  
>Let's stop her!<p>

JOHNNY  
>Yah okay!<p>

Johnny and Mark charge at Lisa. They grab her and drag her  
>to the sofa.<p>

MARK  
>Hold her down!<p>

LISA  
>Get off me! I need to go find a<br>man who can get a promotion!

MARK  
>No way, you succubus!<p>

LISA  
>Fools!<p>

JOHNNY  
>Bite me on neck, vampire!<p>

LISA  
>I - What?<p>

MARK  
>I think she's the one behind all<br>this supernatural activity! We  
>need to get some holy water and<br>send her back to Satan!

JOHNNY  
>Okay I call plumber.<p>

Cackling laughter draws everyone's attention to the painting.  
>The man in it has come to life.<p>

MAN  
>It was me, The Haunted Painting!<br>I'm here to steal your souls!

Johnny gasps and turns back to Lisa.

JOHNNY  
>You have infected my auction<br>painting with the evils!

MAN  
>Wrong! I am Roland Yargenberg. I<br>put my spirit into my own portrait  
>so I could haunt whoever bought it,<br>because that's what I'm into!

MARK  
>So...Lisa doesn't have telekinesis?<p>

ROLAND  
>No, damn it!<p>

LISA  
>Yeah, I don't have special powers.<br>I'm just a bitch.

ROLAND  
>Anyway, you bought me, Johnny, so<br>I'm here to torment you forever!

Lights flicker and wind blows through the room.

ROLAND  
>You'll never get rid of me! Throw<br>me away and I'll reappear right  
>back here! Set me on fire and I'll<br>return good as new! You can even  
>tear me apart, Johnny! I'll come<br>back no matter what!

JOHNNY  
>Oh, well I guess thas pretty<br>scaries.

ROLAND  
>You guess? Come on, it's<br>horrifying! I put a lot of work  
>into this!<p>

JOHNNY  
>Yah okay.<p>

Johnny looks over at Lisa and Mark. They are making out  
>again.<p>

JOHNNY  
>Hey!<p>

MARK  
>Sorry, Johnny. I'm lost to the<br>dark side.

JOHNNY  
>Everyone betray me!<p>

Johnny screams furiously, then abruptly stops and calmly  
>walks to the fireplace while Lisa and Mark get down.<p>

JOHNNY  
>You are my only friend, painting.<p>

ROLAND  
>What? Um, no. I'm here to haunt<br>you, Johnny. Make your walls bleed  
>and stuff. That kind of thing.<p>

JOHNNY  
>Are you vampire?<p>

Roland sighs.

ROLAND  
>No, Johnny.<p>

JOHNNY  
>Vampires are my favorite kind of<br>elephant.

ROLAND  
>Look, are you gonna start being<br>terrified or what? Because this  
>doesn't seem to be working out.<p>

A bell dings outside.

JOHNNY  
>Ice cream man!<p>

Lisa and Mark jump up.

MARK  
>Ice cream!<p>

LISA  
>Time out for ice cream!<p>

JOHNNY  
>Yah let's go get somes fudge pops!<p>

Johnny, Lisa, and Mark run out the door.

ROLAND  
>Hey, wait! Get back here! I'll<br>steal your souls, I swear!

Johnny's laughter fades off into the distance.

ROLAND  
>This sucks.<p>

THE END


End file.
